Monday, May 15, 2006

Bush Floundering After Fishy Lie

President Bush was lobbed a softball recently while in Germany. All he had to do was come up with a highlight of the past five and a half years. All he needed was one, single, solitary heart-warming story about his presidency. He could have talked about the resolve of our country after the attacks of 9/11. He could have mentioned the spirit of those rebuilding after losing everything in Hurricane Katrina. He could have spoken of meeting a brave soldier, marine, airman or sailor recovering from injuries at Walter Reed Hospital. George Bush, the President of the United States ignored all of these possibilities and chose as the highlight of his presidency catching a 7.5 pound Perch from his lake in Texas.

Chances are, it was a lake artificially stocked for he and his rich friends to fish. There's nothing wrong with that, but what prey tell would be the cause for pride in stalking and catching a 7.5 pound Perch? It doesn't sound that big to me. I guess I just don't know much about freshwater fish because it turns out the largest Perch on record is a 4 lb, 3 oz Yellow Perch caught in New Jersey in 1865. Evidently, President Bush caught him one helluva fish and broke a national record that had stood for over 140 years.

This is a picture of the fourth largest Perch ever caught and it weighed in at 3lb, 5oz. This is not President Bush's Perch. His was muuuuuch bigger. Over four pounds bigger. Way to go, Bushie! You are quite the angler there, Mr. President.

The White House transcript now says the President referenced a Bass, not a Perch. While this story seems to have dropped from view John Aravosis at Americablog has a healthy skepticism of the spin. He's a smart guy and the rest of the country is catching on to the fact that Bushie has been caught in one too many lies. It's only a matter of time before the German reporter, who can't be too worried about ever interviewing Bush again, let's us in on the truth.

Ok, so we'll bite into the spinner's story that the President caught a Bass. It does lead a girl to wonder just what kind of Bass since they come in all sorts of colors, shapes and sizes. There's the Largemouth Bass, Rock Bass, Spotted Bass and the Striped Bass, all freshwater varieties and very different in size. To say it was simply a Bass doesn't really tell the whole story.

A 7.5 pound Striped Bass might make some people happy, but for a fish that can be found weighing well over 50 pounds, the President's claim of a 7.5 pounder is, well....nothing to be proud of and certainly wouldn't rank up there as a "highlight". On the other hand, the same size largemouth would be respectable. I'm not sure too many anglers would consider it a moment of pride, but we're talking about George W. Bush, a man who has been handed everything he's ever considered an accomplishment. Maybe, he actually baited the hook himself. I wonder if he used a rubber worm or live bait. I mean, if it was the highlight of his presidency, he certainly remembers every detail of the catch. I would, wouldn't you?

What a bass turd.

As much fun as it is to tease the President for telling such a bold faced lie, it detracts from the real issue that is raised by this story. When asked about the highlight of his presidency George W. Bush ignored the beauty of his country, the spirit, strength and resolve of its people and he focused on a fucking fish. This is heartbreakingly pathetic.

Think about this tonight while Bush does his best to boost his ratings calling out the Guard to protect us from that grave danger presented by Mexicans entering our country. Remember just what he thinks of Americans tonight as he interrupts the lives of more men and women of our National Guard to play politics. Remember just how much he appreciates our sacrifices and our contributions as he takes mothers and fathers away from their children in order to make nicey nice with his fellow Republicans who are deserting him in droves. Through all of the rhetoric and the spin, remember the fucking fish.


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